Album Review : Van Halen - Van Halen II (1979)

Van Halen's debut album was regarded by many as one of the greatest 'lightweight' metal albums ever released, and showcased Eddie Van Halen's talent with the electric ax as an example for future guitar legends to follow. Many a jaw dropped in sheer awe when rock music fantatics first heard his "Eruption" solo, and likewise, many balls dropped when guitar legend hopefuls first heard him shredding that guitar like a cat on catnip trying to tear the living room carpet a new one. Here was a band that made hyperactive, no frills and no 'questions asked' music that dared to try things that, had most bands being asked to do, would've have replied, "We're outta here, man." Take "Ice Cream Man', for example. What the hell does this have to do with heavy metal and hard rock?" you might ask. Well, absolutely nothing. But it demonstrates why Van Halen seems to get away with a lot of things. Their entire discography has seen three lead singers, they've put songs like "Happy Trails" on their albums, and their original (and again present) lead singer has allegedly been diagnosed with ADHD. Surely all this makes for one of the most interesting rock bands in history. And it does. It most certainly does. Van Halen sounds just as good regardless of whoever is behind the mike, be it David Lee Roth, Sammy Hagar, or even Gary Cherone.

Now, looking at Van Halen II, their second effort, the musical prowess of the original album seems absent or watered down, but despite lacking what made their first a success, it is in no way a bad album. They have made better, no doubt about that, but there are worse alternatives. Like Fair Warning, or sodomizing yourself with barbed wire dipped in iodine. Songs like, "You're No Good", "D.O.A", and "Dance the Night Away", are the ones to listen to. Sure, they sound like diluted cuts from their debut album, but even though they lack the same luster of Van Halen, they would still warrant a stabbing were you to give them the fast forward treatment. And if you like faster-than-light acoustic riffs, "Spanish Fly" is right up your alley. My verdict - you should own this album if you like Van Halen. B+

Album Review: The White Stripes - Elephant (2003)

The Ramones were made famous because of it, AC/DC gets away with it, and now, in the 21st Century, we have, once again, another act that makes musical simplicity sound cool. So simple, in fact, they only consist of only two members - a former husband and wife duo with a red, black and white color scheme as their image. They are known as The White Stripes, and as far as contemporary music goes they are the best thing since the invention of the zipper fly for the well hung. To me, this album is comparable to a Toyota Altezza (aka Lexus IS200) - it has the potential to be lethargically boring in all it's appeal, yet it has a mystical aura so profound, even the bed-ridden soldier from Johnny Got his Gun (or Metallica's "One" video) could appreciate it. Jack White is a modern day Bob Dylan; he can write a song with thought provoking lyrics and deliver the package with a catchy tune to boot, and this is particularly evident in songs like "Seven Nation Army", "Black Math", and "The Hardest Button to Button." "It's True That We Love One Another" is a pointless, yet fun 'sing-a-long' with an interpersonal twist, whilst their cover of "I Just Don't Know What to Do With Myself" is well done but slow and slightly uninspiring. My verdict - buy this album, or be forever condemned as a nitwit. A